Secret #4: Your Emotional IQ

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When you sign up for the program, your full intent is to go full head of steam and achieve your goals.  Why then, do so many people fail with their weight loss endeavours, despite their best intentions?

You haven’t worked on your Emotional IQ.

It’s that simple,

human beings are driven by emotions,

and when they can make decisions that

EMPOWER them

they move forward.  Unfortunately, people’s decisions are often emotionally charged, and powered by negative emotions that tend to lead to self-sabotage.

Before going into Emotional IQ, here’s a basic review of time proven success principles.

SUCCESS PRINCIPLES:

1. CLARITY & GOALS

Be clear on exactly what you want for your life and set a goal that while seemingly unrealistic, it is in fact realistically possible and inspiring enough for you to endure the crap that life can hand you that would normally bring you down if you were not as inspired.

2. FIND A SUCCESSFUL MENTOR

Find a coach or a role model who exhibits the success that you are looking for. That person walks the walk consistently and is known for their proven success. That person should be one who cares about your goals and wants to help. Seek out that person’s help and never let go of that relationship with this person.

3. GET THE PROPER PLAN.

Most successful plans are straightforward and are scientifically sound.  This plan should be geared to meet your specific needs with measurable outcomes if certain actions are taken consistently.

4. BE ACCOUNTABLE.

True success indicators should be established and you should be held accountable daily, weekly, monthly for reaching the milestones set out. Your accountability partner should be someone you respect that is an expert in his chosen field.  Another strong motivator is a Public Announcement of your goals and intention to succeed.  That will make things real for you.

5. STAKES.

People will sacrifice rewards for success because they live without them already. However, compelling consequences for inaction are motivating.  What’s the consequence of just not going to work? You may be docked pay or lose your job. Failure to pay your mortgage? You lose your house.  Setting up motivating consequences to avoid pain is a necessary part of success.

6. A POWERFUL SUPPORT SYSTEM

Stack the odds in your favour by being with likeminded people who are winning.  Enlist the support of those who truly want you to win and will help you along the way.  Seek out a Coach who believes in you and is willing to answer your questions.  Disassociate yourself from those who hold you back.

7. IMMERSION

Immerse yourself in the lifestyle of the endeavour you want to pursue. If you want to look and be fit and strong, join a group or program where everyone is striving for the same thing. Study some people who have been successful in the area you are pursuing. Read some educational articles that move you towards your goals.  Watch some motivational YouTube videos of others succeeding.  Put some motivating music into your background. Work things in your favour so that your mind does not drift to the negative. Trust me, if one were put into an environment where everyone was eating poorly at a party, that person would more than likely succumb to peer pressure.  Place that same person in the Olympic Village with top notch athletes who frown on anything less than the best foods and lifestyle choices and you will have different behaviours.

REASONS WHY PEOPLE FAIL:

1) LOW SELF-ESTEEM.

People only succeed to the level that their self-esteem allows them to succeed.

Have you ever wondered why so many very arrogant, self-centred people succeed? It is simply because they see themselves bigger than they really are and fully expect to win.

If you see yourself as a superstar, you will perform like a superstar.  See yourself as a 4 out of 10 and you will perform up to that 4 out of 10 “Ceiling” and nothing higher.

2. MIXING THE GAMEPLAN OF FAT LOSS WITH LIFE’S OBSTACLES.

The fact is, the Gameplan is simple.  It’s straightforward. You have to eat to fuel your body.  Everybody does.  You should pick healthy choices and you know, for the most part, what those are. You know you need to keep active. You know you need to moderate those “escape” foods and beverages. Everyone CAN do that.  There’s too many examples of people succeeding to believe otherwise.

The problem is, people have a problem coping with other issues and the problems manifest themselves in interfering with the simple plan.

One needs to look at the problem at it’s root and deal with it maturely for what it really is, in order to succeed.  For example:

a) Stressed over work or family life.

The mature response is to deal with that stress head on. Perhaps talk to the boss, or confront the difficult employee.  Talk to your kids about the problem of a messy household or a credit counsellor regarding financial difficulties. The immature response? They escape through food.

b) Boredom.

People with idle time and a love for food will gravitate to the very thing that gives them short term gratification…food. They can’t stop thinking about food because they have nothing in their mind that they are passionate about that can replace that feeling.  The mature response? Discover some hobbies that you are passionate about, that take up those voids in time.  I liken this to the child playing road hockey well into dinner, after his mom has called him 6 times.  Yes he may be hungry, but his mind is on his passion.

c) Too Tired.

People are run down because of stress of daily life and work, but they don’t help themselves by eating nutritionally deficient choices and carrying more weight than their structures can handle. What do they end up doing? They think that rest or sleep may be the answer? Perhaps they need a coffee or a snack “pick me up” go get by.  The mature response? Movement circulates blood through your system and gets you feeling better. That movement along with healthy food choices consistently over time leads to a leaner, more muscular body that is more capable of handling the stresses of life.

d) Stories we tell ourselves.

The stories we tell ourselves can often hinder us.

For example, “You don’t understand. My father used to tease me all my life about my weight and punish me verbally for eating a certain way”. The fact is, your father was wrong. It was a cruel way to grow up, but you can either wallow in self-pity or realize that you will never accept that anymore and decide to become stronger by letting go of your “story”

3. LACK OF EDUCATION

Some people just don’t know WHAT to do, otherwise they would be more apt to do it.  It does not help that people are directed to do the wrong things. Low fat diets are a bad idea, as are low carb diets. Very low calorie diets and Fad Diets are just as bad. Promises of 20 lbs weight loss in 7 days don’t help.

Once one has the game plan spelled out, and it’s the proper game plan for them both physiologically and psychologically, they are more apt to win because they have been educated.

Develop your emotional IQ and you move forward.  

My challenge to you is that this process can happen in a heartbeat.

The real question now is, are you really serious about changing?….something to think about.

 

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